Simon The SOFTWARE ENGINEER

Simon was unhappy.

Something was not right.

Simon was having trouble sleeping.

Simon was having trouble concentrating at work.

Simon had lost his ‘mojo’.

At 36 it seemed too early for “mid-life crisis”. Work did not energise him anymore, and he did not look forward to another day behind the keyboard working on items that seemed more and more dull.

But nothing had changed, really.

He asked his colleagues and friends, but no one had any advice for him that made sense. Some suggested he go to therapy, some said learn another programming language, some said ‘buy a dog’. But none of that felt right for him. So he came to me.

I’d like to say this was a quick story and a simple, happy ending, but …

Simon had bought a house, with major issues, in an area he did not really like, and now felt unsafe in. Simon was in a part-time partial relationship with someone who worked late nights in the middle of town 6dpw. To keep it all going and flowing, Simon had started drinking increasing amounts of coffee and alcohol.

Over a few sessions, Simon came to realise his relationship was much less in reality, than it was in his imagination. It took some work around boundaries, and a few attempts to give the other a chance to commit, but each time he was rebuffed and he began to realise how much manipulation was in play: they had formed a very unhealthy co-dependent relationship.

At the same time, he moved out of his unsafe house, saved a little money, took out a small loan, and was able to organise the work required to make the house safe.

All this was going on within six months, as his career rebounded back from crashing into the ground. Simon received a raise and a promotion, he found a much healthier and more supportive group of friends.

Simon stopped drinking too much coffee and alcohol.

Simon sold his fixed-up house for a small profit and moved into an area he likes.

Simon is now living a simpler life, full of real reality, calmness and joy.

Simon is sleeping soundly again.

Not really surprising, Simon also rediscovered his passion for his software engineering again.